Welcome to the Banana Republic of South Africa!!!

South African health minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang tells those with HIV to eat garlic and beetroot.

The former deputy president, Jacob Zuma told the Johannesburg High Court that he took a shower - after having sex with the HIV-positive complainant without a condom - as he believed this minimized his risk of contracting the disease.

"Go to sleep earlier so that you can grow and be cleverer" - Minister of Minerals and Energy Buyelwa Sonjica unveiling a 10-point plan to encourage South Africans to change their electricity usage habits.

"It is one of the things that would make it (the tournament) a success because we hear of many rapes, because people don't have access to them (women)" - ANC MP George Lekgetho on the benefits of legalizing prostitution for the 2010 world cup.

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen. To be cured from aids, eat garlic and beetroot. If you don't want aids, take a shower, and all we have to do to stop the electricity crisis is to go to bed early so we can be cleverer and rapes only occur because people don't have access to prostitutes.

Sleep tight South Africa. Your government has everything under control.

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