Sick leave
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would
Not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY'
Then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker Sipho) asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was 'CRAZY' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked 'What are you are doing?' I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.' I jumped down and walked out of the office...
When my co-worker (Sipho) followed me, the Boss asked him '...And where do you think you're going?'
(You're gonna love this.....)
He said, 'I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark.'
Showing posts with label Sipho. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sipho. Show all posts
Sipho again
Sipho's sister was pregnant and was in a bad car accident, which caused her to fall into a deep coma. After nearly six months, she awakens and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies" Ma'am, you had twins - a boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them. The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no! Not Sipho; He's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor "Well what's the girl's name?" "Denise," the doctor answers.
The new mother thinks." Wow that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I really like that name Denise." Then she asks the doctor, “What’s the boy's name?" The doctor replies.
"Denephew."
The doctor replies" Ma'am, you had twins - a boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them. The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no! Not Sipho; He's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor "Well what's the girl's name?" "Denise," the doctor answers.
The new mother thinks." Wow that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I really like that name Denise." Then she asks the doctor, “What’s the boy's name?" The doctor replies.
"Denephew."
Little Sipho - Brilliantly Funny!
Young Sipho goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking.
He puts his hands in the flour and covers his head with it.
He says: "Look mamma, I am a white boy!"
His mother slaps him hard on the face and says: "Sipho, go show your dad what you've done!!"
So he does, and his dad slaps him too.
His granny happens to be right next to his dad and she slaps him vehemently in disgust.
Then Sipho's mom says: "Did you learn something from all this?
The poor little Sipho shakes his head, crying and says:
"I did. I've only been a white boy for 5 minutes and I'm already scared of you blacks!"
He puts his hands in the flour and covers his head with it.
He says: "Look mamma, I am a white boy!"
His mother slaps him hard on the face and says: "Sipho, go show your dad what you've done!!"
So he does, and his dad slaps him too.
His granny happens to be right next to his dad and she slaps him vehemently in disgust.
Then Sipho's mom says: "Did you learn something from all this?
The poor little Sipho shakes his head, crying and says:
"I did. I've only been a white boy for 5 minutes and I'm already scared of you blacks!"
THE ULTIMATE ADVENTURE CRUISE....
THE ULTIMATE ADVENTURE CRUISE
We are excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia.
We board our luxury cruise ship inDjibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea, and disembark in Kenya seven adrenaline-charged days later.
Starting at $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $6,900 (veranda complete with bench rest), you'll relax like never before.
But the best fun of all, of course, is Pirate Target Practice.
For the object of the cruise is to sail up and down the Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates. The weapons rental costs are as follows.
Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armour-piercing:
On a budget? Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for only $9/day with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds:
Hello! Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a Barrett M-107 50-cal sniper rifle; only $59/day with 25 rounds of armour-piercing ammo affordably priced at only $29.95.
Want to make a real impact? Rent an RPG for only $175/day with three fragmentation rounds included!
Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment - and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am.
Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar.
But that's not all! Twin mounted miniguns are available for rental at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire!
How can we make that guarantee? We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia, thus in international waters where pirates have no rights whatever. In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility by Somali "mother ships".
We repeat this for five days, making three complete passes past the entire Somali Coast. At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five minutes with loud disco music directionally beamed shoreside to attract maximum attention.
Testimonials from previous participants in the Somali Cruise:
"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two, and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun. This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family" -- Fred D.,
"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Ben L.
"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in 'Nam. Don't worry about getting shot by pirates... they never even got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim... reminds me of a drunken juicer door-gunner we picked up from the motor pool in Phu Bai!" -- Dan J.
HELL YEAH – The only way to describe this, best honeymoon gift ever – John and Gillian H., – Dallas
Come on board and bag your own clutch of genuine Somali pirates! But cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly. Reserve your package before September 30th and get a great bonus - 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the calibre of your choice.
So sign up for the Ultimate Somali Coast Adventure Cruise now!
We are excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia.
We board our luxury cruise ship in
Starting at $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $6,900 (veranda complete with bench rest), you'll relax like never before.
But the best fun of all, of course, is Pirate Target Practice.
For the object of the cruise is to sail up and down the Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates. The weapons rental costs are as follows.
Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armour-piercing:
On a budget? Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for only $9/day with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds:
Hello! Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a Barrett M-107 50-cal sniper rifle; only $59/day with 25 rounds of armour-piercing ammo affordably priced at only $29.95.
Want to make a real impact? Rent an RPG for only $175/day with three fragmentation rounds included!
Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment - and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am.
Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar.
But that's not all! Twin mounted miniguns are available for rental at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire!
How can we make that guarantee? We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia, thus in international waters where pirates have no rights whatever. In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility by Somali "mother ships".
We repeat this for five days, making three complete passes past the entire Somali Coast. At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five minutes with loud disco music directionally beamed shoreside to attract maximum attention.
Testimonials from previous participants in the Somali Cruise:
"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two, and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun. This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family" -- Fred D.,
"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Ben L.
"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in 'Nam. Don't worry about getting shot by pirates... they never even got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim... reminds me of a drunken juicer door-gunner we picked up from the motor pool in Phu Bai!" -- Dan J.
HELL YEAH – The only way to describe this, best honeymoon gift ever – John and Gillian H., – Dallas
Come on board and bag your own clutch of genuine Somali pirates! But cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly. Reserve your package before September 30th and get a great bonus - 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the calibre of your choice.
So sign up for the Ultimate Somali Coast Adventure Cruise now!
Be on the lookout
ATTENTION:
ALL S.A. CUSTOMS OFFICIALS - Beit Bridge Border Post
Be on the lookout for a family of 23 Zimbabweans.
They may try to cross the border illegally.
Driving a '52 Chevy......Red with White top.
Amazing picture of African Miners Trapped Underground...
THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN WITH UNDERGROUND CAMERAS, OF 2 AFRICAN
MINERS TRAPPED, WAITING TO BE RESCUED.
The root of romance
Hello!
Ladies don’t always think of those Men with beautiful cars, there is no beauty greater than this…
And Guys you too can make your woman proud, don’t stress about BMW’s, Audi’s, or some fancy red candles and expensive restaurants- You don’t always need them to be romantic
This is the root of romance
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