Darwin Awards

Bongani

BONGANI bought a new mobile. He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said: "'My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610"      ============ ========= ========= ====== BONGANI and Friend BONGANI : I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College . Friend: Really, what is he studying? BONGANI : No, he is not studying, they are studying him.      ============ ========= ========= ========= === BONGANI and Doctor BONGANI : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night. DR:  Take this tablet, you will be ok. BONGANI :  Can I take it tomorrow, tonight is final game.      ============ ========= ========= ========= ==== BONGANI and WIFE BONGANI : If I die, will u remarry? Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry? BONGANI : No, I'll also stay with your sister.      ============ ========= ========= ========= == BONGANI and WIFE again BONGANI : People consider me as a 'GOD' Wife: How do you know? BONGANI : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come again.      ============ ========= ========= ========= ==== BONGANI and POLICE BONGANI complained to the police: "Sir, all items are missing, except the TV in my house." Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?' BONGANI : 'I was watching TV news....'      ============ ========= ========= ========= == BONGANI comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine' He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for compliment.'      ============ ========= ========= ========= ======== Once BONGANI was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other. So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot. ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= == BONGANI in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?' ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= === BONGANI at School Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense BONGANI : The future tense is 'u will go to jail' ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===== And lastly Bongani and the Servant BONGANI told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!' Servant: 'It's already raining.' BONGANI : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'

What happens when you try to tow away a woman's car

Afwesigheidsbriefies

* Verskoon asseblief Lisa se afwesigheid. Sy was baie siek en die dokter het gesê sy moet dit afslaap, en toe het ek haar laat uitsit.

* Geagte Skool, Dawie was afwesigheid gewees op Maart 29, 30, 32, 32 en ook 33.

* Joylene was nie by die skool nie, want hulle het haar verstaantande geslaag.

* Verskoon asseblief vir Pierre, dis sy pa se skuld.

* Santie was nie by die skool nie, want ek is 'n enkelouer en was in die bed met Giep.

* Maryann was awesig van die 11e tot die 16e. Sy het 'n keel, 'n maag en 'n kop. Haar sussie ook. Daar moet iets aan die gang wees, want hulle pa was ook gisteraand warm.

* My dogter was gister afwesig, want sy was moeg. Sy was op 'n KJV kamp en het 'n rowwe naweek gehad.

* Sally wil liewers vandag na 'n begrafnis toe gaan.

* Jennifer was gister nie by die skool nie, want ons het gedink Maandag is Sondag.

* Vir wie ook al hierdie moet lees - Janco sal nie more skool toekom nie, hy en sy pa is op jags.

* Jan-Jan het nie sy huiswerk gedoen nie, nou dwing hy my om 'n verskoning uit te dink. U is sy klashoof, dink u liewers een uit. Ek het vyf kinders en 'n man en is op gedink.