Finias die trok drywer se skade verslag
Finias; "My Bas, die trok hy wel nie mee ry nie...."
Baas; "Wats fout Finias, is jy weer sonder diesel?!"
Finias; "Nee die diesl hys moi my Bas, ma die trok hy stan"
Baas; "Het jy enjin moeilikheid?"
Finias; " Jaa...eh....die eh...engin hys ok seker oraait. Dis die trok wat stan my Bas."
Baas; " Finias, wat is fout met die fokken trok?"
Finias; "Hy stan by die brig my Bas. Ek dink jy moet breng die kran"
Baas; "Jy meen ‘n breakdown?"
Finias; "Ja.a.a....eh....die breakdown kan ok werk mar hy sal moet bietjie hog wees."
Baas; "Ja ek stuur ‘n groot breakdown, hy kan 5 meter lig"
Finias; "My bas, miskien die kran hy gan beter wees. En breng die jackhammer."
Baas " Jackhammer, vir f** wat?"
Finias; "Vir die trench digger, hy set vas by die teerpad. En breng ok die grinder, cutting tourch, ‘n nuwe lowbed en breng vor jou lunch en bietjie dop ok. Dit gan a laaaang dag wees vi die Bas."
Baas; "Finias, waarvan praat jy, waars my trok? Ek gaan jou dood maak as jy die trok weer omgeneuk het!"
Finias; "Neeee....eh...hy’s regop my bas. Hy stan da by die N1 buite Pretoria "
Baas; "EN WAAA DE HEL IS JY?"
Finias; "Ne,.....eh....ek is eh....by die Sydney Air Port. OK, die Bas hy moet net baie brannawyn vat en nie denk an Finias nie...OK koebai my Bas, Finias hy moet gan nou...!"
Einde van dialoog.
The financial crisis explained in easy terms
The financial crisis explained in simple terms:
Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin. In order to increase sales,she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).
Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar.
Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.
A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.
He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.
At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed.
Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.
One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.
However they cannot pay back the debts.
Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.
DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better,stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.
The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation.
Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.
The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.
The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied against the non-drinkers.
Finally an explanation I understand . . .
