Monitor
Keeping an eye on the braai
Download
Get the firewood off the bakkie
Hard drive
Trip back home without any cold beer
Keyboard
Where you hang the bakkie and bike keys
Window
What you shut when it's cold
Screen
What you shut in the mosquito season
Byte
What mosquitoes do
Bit
What mosquitoes did
Mega Byte
What mosquitoes at the lake do
Chip
A bar snack
Micro Chip
What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
Modem
What you did to the lawns
Dot Matrix
Oom Jan Matrix's wife
Laptop
Where the cat sleeps
Software
Plastic knives and forks you get at KFC
Hardware
Real stainless steel knives and forks from Checkers
Mouse
What eats the grain in the shed
Mouse Pad
Where the mouse takes the grain it does not eat
Mainframe
What holds the shed up
Web
What spiders make
Web Site
The shed (or under the verandah)
Cursor
The old bloke what swears a lot
Search Engine
What you do when the bakkie won't go
Yahoo
What you say when the bakkie does go
Upgrade
A steep hill
Server
The person at the pub what brings out the lunch
Mail Server
The bloke at the pub what brings out the lunch
User
The neighbour what keeps borrowing things
Network
When you have to repair your fishing net
Internet
Complicated fish net repair method
Netscape
When fish maneuvers out of reach of net
Online
When you get the laundry hung out
Off Line
When the pegs don't hold the washing up
THE ULTIMATE ADVENTURE CRUISE....
THE ULTIMATE ADVENTURE CRUISE
We are excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia.
We board our luxury cruise ship inDjibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea, and disembark in Kenya seven adrenaline-charged days later.
Starting at $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $6,900 (veranda complete with bench rest), you'll relax like never before.
But the best fun of all, of course, is Pirate Target Practice.
For the object of the cruise is to sail up and down the Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates. The weapons rental costs are as follows.
Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armour-piercing:
On a budget? Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for only $9/day with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds:
Hello! Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a Barrett M-107 50-cal sniper rifle; only $59/day with 25 rounds of armour-piercing ammo affordably priced at only $29.95.
Want to make a real impact? Rent an RPG for only $175/day with three fragmentation rounds included!
Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment - and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am.
Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar.
But that's not all! Twin mounted miniguns are available for rental at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire!
How can we make that guarantee? We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia, thus in international waters where pirates have no rights whatever. In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility by Somali "mother ships".
We repeat this for five days, making three complete passes past the entire Somali Coast. At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five minutes with loud disco music directionally beamed shoreside to attract maximum attention.
Testimonials from previous participants in the Somali Cruise:
"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two, and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun. This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family" -- Fred D.,
"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Ben L.
"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in 'Nam. Don't worry about getting shot by pirates... they never even got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim... reminds me of a drunken juicer door-gunner we picked up from the motor pool in Phu Bai!" -- Dan J.
HELL YEAH – The only way to describe this, best honeymoon gift ever – John and Gillian H., – Dallas
Come on board and bag your own clutch of genuine Somali pirates! But cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly. Reserve your package before September 30th and get a great bonus - 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the calibre of your choice.
So sign up for the Ultimate Somali Coast Adventure Cruise now!
We are excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia.
We board our luxury cruise ship in
Starting at $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $6,900 (veranda complete with bench rest), you'll relax like never before.
But the best fun of all, of course, is Pirate Target Practice.
For the object of the cruise is to sail up and down the Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates. The weapons rental costs are as follows.
Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armour-piercing:
On a budget? Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for only $9/day with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds:
Hello! Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a Barrett M-107 50-cal sniper rifle; only $59/day with 25 rounds of armour-piercing ammo affordably priced at only $29.95.
Want to make a real impact? Rent an RPG for only $175/day with three fragmentation rounds included!
Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment - and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am.
Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar.
But that's not all! Twin mounted miniguns are available for rental at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire!
How can we make that guarantee? We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia, thus in international waters where pirates have no rights whatever. In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility by Somali "mother ships".
We repeat this for five days, making three complete passes past the entire Somali Coast. At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five minutes with loud disco music directionally beamed shoreside to attract maximum attention.
Testimonials from previous participants in the Somali Cruise:
"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two, and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun. This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family" -- Fred D.,
"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Ben L.
"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in 'Nam. Don't worry about getting shot by pirates... they never even got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim... reminds me of a drunken juicer door-gunner we picked up from the motor pool in Phu Bai!" -- Dan J.
HELL YEAH – The only way to describe this, best honeymoon gift ever – John and Gillian H., – Dallas
Come on board and bag your own clutch of genuine Somali pirates! But cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly. Reserve your package before September 30th and get a great bonus - 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the calibre of your choice.
So sign up for the Ultimate Somali Coast Adventure Cruise now!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
