Schalk Burger

When Schalk Burger does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up; he's pushing the Earth down.

When Schalk Burger goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Schalk Burgered.

When the Tokoloshe goes to sleep every night, he checks under his bed for Schalk Burger.

Schalk Burger counted to infinity - twice.

Schalk Burger invented every colour. Except pink. Percy Montgomery invented pink.

Schalk Burger's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Schalk Burger gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Schalk Burger can slam a revolving door.

Some kids p*ss their name in the snow. Schalk Burger can p*ss his name into concrete.

Schalk Burger's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; No-one fools Schalk Burger .

Schalk Burger can speak Braille.

Schalk Burger's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

Superman owns a pair of Schalk Burger pyjamas.