Benoni Security system

How to install a Benoni security system:

1) Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots, a really big pair.

2) Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of "Guns and Ammo"magazine.

3) Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dog dish.

4) Leave a note on your front door that says: "Jan, Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammo - back in an hour. Leave the Pit bulls alone, they're real angry since they've just been castrated.