Comprehending Engineers

Comprehending Engineers-Take One

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'" The second engineer nodded approvingly,

"Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Comprehending Engineers-Take Two

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."

"Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go back to the office and get some work done."

Comprehending Engineers-Take Three

Q. What's the difference between Electrical Engineers and Architects?
A. ELECTRICAL ENGINEERS BUILD WEAPONS, ARCHITECTS BUILD TARGETS.

Comprehending Engineers-Take Four

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big it needs to be.

Comprehending Engineers-Take Five ("A Boy and His Frog")

A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."

Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me? The boy said,

"Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."