Some More Mental Jokes

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Mary suddenly jumped into the deep end. She sunk to the bottom and stayed there. Jim promptly jumped in to save her. He swam to the bottom and pulled Mary out.

When the medical director became aware of Jim's heroic act he immediately ordered him to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered him to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Jim the news he said, "Jim, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is, Mary, the patient you saved, hung herself with her bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but she's dead."

Jim replied, "She's not dead, I just hung her out to dry."


A mental hosiptal was critically overcrowded. The doctors decided to get all the patients seated in one large room to conduct a test to see how many they discharge that day. At the front of the room the Doctors took some chalk and drew a full size door on a blackboard and offered an icecream to any patient who could open the door.

There was a mad rush for the door with the patients scratching an clawing at the door and the handle. The doctors were disappointed, until they noticed a single patient who remained in his chair and was quietly chuckling to himself as watched his fellow patients. Encouraged that at least 1 patient could be dicharged today, the doctors asked him why he wasn't trying to open the door. The patient, who could no longer contain his laughter, shouted " I've got the key!!!"


New Study:

A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their Internet browsers with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.